England 4-0 Greece

Owen Hargreaves to leave Bayern? *** Liverpool set to buy Dirk Kuyt (brought to you by the letter IJ) ***

England are back! World Cup winners in 2010 for sure! It was that bloody Sven that mucked it up, innit?

If only Steve McClaren had been in charge at the World Cup.

If only Becks had been dumped a bit quicker.

If only Fifa had allowed us to play Greece at Old Trafford seven times in a row to decide who was world champions instead of holding something as old-fashioned as a World Cup full of good teams.

Never mind. 45,000 fans braved the Mancunian drizzle to watch what was meant to be a triumphant homecoming for the World Cup winners but was actually a one-sided friendly between two European nobodies that ended 4-0 to England.

Frankly it was a stupid time to have a friendly -- even before the Premiership season has started and West Ham are no doubt delighted that Dean Ashton has picked up a broken ankle and won't kick a ball for the Hammers for a number of months. And without the suspended Wayne Rooney and injured Michael Owen, the absence of Ashton exacerbates the problems the Three Lions have with their strike force for the first European Championships qualifier against Andorra next month.

Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe look shoo-ins to start that game up front and both looked lively against Greece, with "Big Crouchy" getting a brace to improve his scoring record at international level to an impressive eight goals in 12 games.

Assuming there are no more injuries then the team should stay the same although Stewart Downing's position on the left of midfield could be challenged if Joe Cole recovers from injury.

The midfield worked better that at Germany 06, with Steven Gerrard taking over David Beckham's old position on the right and Owen Hargreaves partnering Frank Lampard in the middle. Having said that, Greece were so inept in the first half that I could have partnered Frank Bruno and it would have been a stroll for England.

The bouquets are on hold for the moment but the brickbats are not out yet either. We shall have to wait for the competitive matches before knowing if our worst fears about a McClaren regime are realised.

Yes, I like to look on the bright side.

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Owen Hargreaves was man of the match in that England friendly and was voted the best Englishman at the World Cup by the supporters -- which certainly marks some turn-around from a few months ago.

He's about to spoil all his hard work with the English football fans though -- by threatening to join Manchester United.

Hargreaves has won everything with current club Bayern Munich (including a Champions League) and a change of clubs would see him pick up an even bigger pay cheque as well as grant him a place in the English media spotlight where he can cement his new found position as the nation's sweetheart.

Whether he can provide the bite that Manchester United's midfield is lacking is questionable. Hargreaves is a player happier going box to box rather than sitting in front of a back four and although he puts himself about a bit (so to speak) he isn't really a defensive midfielder. Michael Carrick has been signed and will now probably be ask to sit and pass the ball so Hargreaves may be allowed to get forward from midfield but that still leaves the team woefully lacking in someone to win the ball back when they lose it.

This looks like another one of those big money transfer splashes that Alex Ferguson has made his hallmark in recent years (Juan Sebastian Veron for £28.1 million anyone?) and it seems that because they haven't been able to get hold of a number of other players this summer, they may as well spend the money now.

Not exactly the most structured approach to investing but then seeing as they're up to their eyeballs in debt, it's not really their dosh.

Allow me an unlikely metaphor, if you will. In the same way you or I would open the fridge and see some limp vegetables or a yoghurt approaching it's expiry date and think: "Hmmm, best eat that now -- don't really want it, but waste not, want not", Fergie sees the start of the season approaching and makes a mad grab for the players who may not be suitable but are at least available.

Actually, I guess you could just chuck the food in the bin and cook something fresh and this is where my metaphor breaks down, but it works for me. Although the equivalent of chucking footballers in a bin is being signed by Newcastle United, of course.

***

Which sort of brings me to long-time Geordie-target Dirk Kuyt. He's escaped the fate of playing at the footballer's graveyard by apparently accepting an offer from Liverpool.

His poor showing with the Dutch side at the World Cup has taken some of the sheen off Kuyt's reputation but as a youngster he was impressive for the unfashionable FC Utrecht (if not prolific) and he really made people sit up and take notice at Feyenoord where he has scored 71 goals in 101 games.

But those performances in Germany have led people to question whether he is a new Mateja Kezman -- capable of scoring for fun in the unrefined atmosphere of the Eredivisie in Holland but found out at a higher level?

Ruud Van Nistelrooy has shown you can actually transfer Dutch league form to the Premiership and Kuyt's game is much more than scoring goals. A more hard-working striker you are unlikely to see and his strength, mobility and nice touch are all plus points. Earlier British press reports linking him to Arsenal as a replacement for Dennis Bergkamp are laughably wide of the mark, however.

It's unlikely that Kuyt will score lots for Liverpool but he'll certainly help that squad get closer to Chelsea than they did last season.

Incidentally, his former Feyenoord strike partner Salomon Kalou is also now plying his trade in England with Chelsea, and I think the Reds have bought the talent in that double-act. Kalou's finishing is too wild and physique to slight for him to be trusted a striker for the Blues and in any case he's likely to be used as a wide man to utilise his pace. It will be interesting to chart the progress of both of these Rotterdam alumni in this season's Premiership.

NB - I've used the modern Dutch spelling of Kuyt's name, although most media reports are using the traditional Kuijt variant. The confusion comes from the fact that the Dutch consider "IJ" as an separate letter of the alphabet and there is obviously no equivalent in English.

Although "Y" is used as a substitute when internationalising Dutch spellings, those crazy Lowlanders consider Y and IJ to be different.

IJes, IJou can find out reallij handij things at Wikipedia can't IJou?

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