Germany 06 Second Round Review
The World Cup second round provided excitement, drama and tedium in liberal doses
The quarterfinals of the World Cup are upon us and this is the time of the tournament where England fans see their team crash out and after a bit of mild public violence (even when we win - here's news from my hometown on the South Coast) I can calm down and watch the rest of the competition without threat of hypertension or ulcers and car owners sheepishly put away their "Ingerland" window stickers and multiple flags.
Let's start with the Three Lions - my God, what a bore. Having watched a large number of inconsequential football matches in the lower leagues of England, it pains me to say that the first half of the England-Ecuador match (minus Tenorio hitting the bar) was one of the most tedious 45 minutes I have ever spent. That includes the time I fell asleep on the terraces during Chesterfield v Bournemouth in November 2001. However, I was lying down at that time and was at least sitting in a vaguely attentive fashion for the Ecuador match.
I didn't bother to cheer the England goal scored by David Beckham, because I had just slipped into a coma and also because I wasn't sure it had gone in. Although I am the only Englishman on the planet to think this, I am prepared to say I do not want us to win the World Cup playing the way we have - the competition deserves better.
And talking of better, the first match of the round of 16 between Germany and Sweden was highly entertaining if all one-way. The return of Zlatan Ibrahimovic failed to rouse the Swedes and their plucky keeper Andreas Isaakson kept them in it. Even before Sweden had Teddy Lucic sent off, it was a dominant display by the Germans and by the end of the match Germany had attempted 29 shots on goal to Sweden's four . I'd like to say one thing to the England fans I heard on a radio phone-in who wanted to play Germany instead of Ecuador at the second round stage: YOU BERKS.
The Latinamerican clash between Mexico and Argentina was a belter and sealed with a cracking volley from Maxi Rodriguez. It was a bit of a surprise when Mexico took the lead through Rafael Marquez but Hernan Crespo restored the balance. I watched the game with friends in a pub in Richmond in south west London where an inebriated gentleman wanted to know why he were "supporting Argentina" - presumably because we didn't join in with his witless comments about the Falklands and bellow COME ON MEXICO at five second intervals. I'd like to say one thing to that man: YOU BERK. And yes, I was supporting Argentina.
The game on Sunday night between Portugal and Holland was hilariously entertaining and I was longing to see the game go to extra time for an extra 30 minutes of thrills, spills, diving, pushing, shoving, yellow cards and red faces. But it didn't and as I expected the Portuguese won through 1-0 (I did say so, check last week's article ). None of these sides covered themselves in glory and I got back home late so missed the three minutes of football that broke out at the start of the game. Russian ref Valentin Ivanov has taken most of the flack for the sixteen yellow cards he showed (the four reds followed four double-bookings so can hardly count in my opinion as extra cards). I blame the players (YOU BERKS) for their pathetic and truculent display and even Khalid Boulahrouz's second yellow was worth it - why are his elbows so high into Figo's face?
Monday's first match-up between Italy and Australia was a close call for the Italians - harsh penalty against Lucas Neill but why did he slide in? Francesco Totti slammed home the winning goal from the penalty spot in the 93rd minute and cue crying Australians. Although I was secretly rooting for the Aussies to do well (to strike a blow in a football-hating country) it was also gratifying as an Englishman to see Australian sporting failure (we'd never hear the end of it if England hadn't progressed further than the Aussies). Bitter, me? Yes.
Also, you'd think Socceroos coach Guus Hiddink could have been braver when the Azzurri went down to ten men thanks to the dismissal of the odious Marco Materazzi (YOU BERK) after six minutes of the second half. Still, never mind, the Lucky Country still has the cricket, rugby, swimming, athletics and every other competitive endeavour to look forward to success in.
Switzerland v Ukraine was a pretty unedifying spectacle although it did give us the first penalty shoot-out of the tournament (won by Ukraine). I love a penalty shoot-out, me. To those people who say it is no way to lose a football match and has nothing to do with the game, I say (wait for it): YOU BERKS. At least it's an event that can occur during the normal 90 minutes and it is very dramatic - instant heroes and villains. If the game was decided by an egg and spoon race or dramatic poetry recitals then THAT would be a bad way to end a game.
Most English fans don't like penalties due to the national team's ropey record but I like them and it was the best part of Monday's game (which last week I did say was between two rather defensive teams). Nice cheeky penalty by Ukraine's Belarus-born Artem Milevskiy - he recently played a major role in the Ukraine U21 team that made the European Championships final - watch-out for him because the Dynamo Kiev striker could well be a star.
The final matches on Tuesday disappointed me - one for the performance and the other for the result. The disappointing performance was Brazil's in their lethargic 3-0 win against the Ghanaians. The South Americans were lucky not to be pegged back to 1-1 before Adriano got their second on the stroke of half time. As well as the much-noted lack of firepower in the African side, the defence didn't really help their cause much yesterday either - the offside trap (if that's what it was) that led to Ronaldo's opener was shocking.
Tears in Madrid last night no doubt, and despite putting a modest wager on France to beat Spain (duly accomplished 2-1) the £30 I won has not made me feel much better. Nothing personal against the French, just their football team at the moment is as disappointing as the English while Spain were rather attractive.
Having also had a punt on Spain's David Villa to be top scorer at the World Cup I was delighted to see him open the scoring with a penalty but distraught to see him substituted AGAIN by Luis Aragones (YOU BERK). Taking off Raul as well, to leave Fernando Torres as their only recognised striker with the game poised at 1-1, can hardly be described as a tactical masterstroke. Patrick Vieira popped up to score the winner with only seven minutes left and did anyone really feel the Spaniards could come back from that?
Much has been made of Thierry Henry "diving" to win the free kick that led to the winner and it was a bit of an over-reaction from the surly Arsenal frontman. Thierry (YOU BERK), with your sour outburst after the Champions League final, you are quickly using up all the goodwill you have built up by scoring excellent goals, wearing your socks over your knees and doing those Va-va-voom adverts.
